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Myself
LIMEI TEO
2 Feb 91
Single
City College
E518, E366, IC Zone
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Thursday, December 13, 2007 8:45 AM


Few days didn't blog, too many things happen.

I hope to say this camp bring us closer but…
This is how I really feel. I guess this camp didn’t bring us closer. Instead I saw a crack not in physical but in emotional & spiritual. I don’t know what happen. But I just got that feeling. I know we cannot just go by our feelings alone but I didn’t felt this kind of feeling before. Maybe this feeling is wrong. Maybe I was just thinking too much. But I just want to let you all know. Before the camp, after you came back from shanghai I always have that kind of feeling. I just don’t want to say it out.

Joyce remember I called your name when you are preparing to leave to take the bus when we are at the E243 side. Actually I’ve got something to tell you but I just don’t know how to say. Actually I want to say I guess I have close up, I have drop the ball. How do I know? That night I didn’t go back to the dorm with both of you. I was thinking in the dining place. All of them thought that I just lost my voice that’s why I didn’t talk, didn’t say anything. But I was thinking am I really close up? Am I really think that I’m going forward? Am I building the right thing in my team? What have I done? All this question begins to come to my mind. I think & think. Until Elliot asks me am I okay? Do you want to go back to rest? From there I stop thinking. Honestly speaking I’m tired, I’m really very tired a lot of things has been running in my mind. But when I saw the both of you, the smile, the laugh, the irritating-ness, the bhb-ness, the rolling and the running it makes me wants to go for another step.

Maybe, to many people all this don’t really matter much. But to me it matters a lot. I still remember few weeks ago. I face on a family crisis, but both of you is always there for me. Encourage me. Comfort me. The most important is to be so transparent to one another, maybe in your heart you think you are not as transparent as what I think, but is okay because all of us have a different point of view. On the confidence walk at the big big field you told me how you feel about one person but I just keep on telling my point of view. I didn’t know until I talk to you on the phone last night. Jiayi was right. I got to listen more than I talk. I’m sorry.

I’m sick, you are sick. I lost my voice, you keep on coughing. I feel so hard to talk, you feel so hard to sleep. Please take good care. I don’t want you to shut up, I don’t want you to close down. I don’t want. Really don’t want.